Growth Comes From Being Uncomfortable
Just recently I was helping someone, (Someone very close to me) try something new that definitely was outside of their comfort zone. I was teaching a close friend how to start up their blog. Sometimes it’s easier to be a mentor or teach someone that is not as close to you personally.
Those that are close to you, have seen you at your worst. Maybe they’ve seen you throw up all over the floor, after your bachelor party… and were the one to be there and “pick up the pieces for you”. Just a random example ;)
Maybe they’ve seen you at your worst, and they’ve seen you at your best. Sometimes it’s harder for those closest to you to understand that you may just know what you are talking about…
It’s amazing how some people react when they are uncomfortable. I have to admit that blogging for me is second nature, but on reflection, it wasn’t second nature when I first started.
Any new skill we tackle takes a brief time of learning and growing. In this particular case it’s a matter of reframing as I believe it is in any case. But for this case let’s look at Blogging for beginners.
Blogging For Beginners– Just keep Moving Forward
I get it. I started blogging about 7 years ago when I started my online marketing journey. It was much more difficult when I first started.
When I started blogging, I understood that I had more power in my hands than ever before in history. I had the power to share my voice with the world. I had a platform to share ideas, to inspire, to inform, the be controversial if I chose. More importantly I had a platform to make a significant living on my time.
Yes there is a bit of a grind, but did I sit back and start blaming others for my inability to perform a certain task? Absolutely Not! I reframed my uncomfortable feelings knowing the power I had in the video from my cell phone and the power I had in using my blog as a sounding off platform.
When I first started Blogging
Things were much different. Social media was just getting started. Nobody had heard of Instagram, and Pinterest. In fact Facebook was pretty new, and most people were only familiar with MySpace. To start up your blog you needed a moderate level of technical expertise, which I didn’t have at the time.
I had to learn how to FTP to get my files from the server to my blog. I had to learn some HTML code to make certain things bold. It took me 4 months, just to get my blog to look the way I wanted it to look.
It was a never ending battle to keep your blog up to date. It was nearly impossible to get your upper banner to look the way you wanted without hiring someone to fix it for you. The grind was all worth it. Now I know how good we have it.
Reframing: The Benefits Out-Weigh the Grind
Now you can plug into a viral blogging platform Like Kalatu, and everything I struggled with in the beginning is simply plug and play. You can be up and running with your personal blog, or business blog within a few hours vs. a few months. No longer do you have to worry about:
- Losing all your data
I was just listening to one of my mentors Lawrence Tam in the blogging and internet marketing world… He was talking about The Kalatu Blog Platform. I started blogging about the same time as he did. He reminded me of some of pitfalls we used to have to deal with when we started out on this blogging journey.
With backing up your blog, updating plug-ins, customizing etc. it wasn’t unusual to lose a significant portion or function to your blog. Lawrence Tam shared a story of one particular update to a plug-in caused all of his comments to be deleted!
I personally have spent days fixing things that have gone wrong on my blog. When something like this happens it keeps you from doing the productive things we are trying to accomplish daily. Not to mention the investment in time and money just to get you back to where you were before the update crashed your blog.
Many people are still following that old model and are still dealing with that headache. No thanks… Even though I have a moderate level of expertise to deal with these “uh-oh” moments, I would rather not. That is why I use the Kalatu WordPress Blog
The Trap: The 4 deadly Sins
Whenever we venture into something new we must go through a learning curve. We must learn and edit. Learning takes taking chances. We learn by doing. Editing means taking a step back, learning from our mistakes and improving on what we’ve learned by doing. It also means modeling others who have paved the way for us. “Standing on the shoulders of giants” Right?
Be careful of these deadly sins when hitting that uncomfortable zone.
Blame: The easy thing to do is point the finger. Although it might be the easiest thing to do, it’s not the most productive. In fact, it’s not productive AT ALL! Blame does not get you closer to your goal. It puts you farther away on the path to Awesome.
Victim: Who wants to be a victim. I would say nobody, but that’s not true. Some people swim in victimhood. Being a victim can give you a payoff, but is it a payoff that puts you closer to your goals? Absolutely not. The antidote? Take responsibility for everything.
We all have things that happen to us. Cancer, financial struggles, death of a close friend…. We all have shitty things happen in our lives. It’s life. Trying to find blame, is a useless exercise. Taking responsibility does not mean assigning FAULT.
Taking responsibility means…”What am I going to do now.” Now what…take responsibility for how you are going to deal with problems… Because when you start something new, and excel, you’ve invited NEW problems into your life. Welcome them.
Perfectionism: This is one of the biggest problems I see stopping people from success. Especially when it comes to blogging and internet marketing, people think they need to be perfect. People spend months customizing their blog, or they won’t publish their blog posts until it’s just perfect. Why?
Shoot the damn video, share your knowledge and expertise…Get it out there…Nobody can follow you, buy from you, or learn from your valuable content if it’s not out there to the world to see.
The Kalatu 21 Day Blog Challenge is the remedy for this, especially for new bloggers, but for seasoned bloggers too. Doing something, anything for 21 days forms a habit. But it also beats down the barrier of perfection. It allows you to bust through the things that are holding you back. You come to find out that it really is easy.
Over Analyzing: I’ve been guilty of this…For Sure! I’m typically an analytical person anyway. Maybe this goes back to perfectionism. Trying to please everyone is a mistake. Big mistake.
The only thing in the middle of road is roadkill. Don’t try to please everyone. Take a side and express it. You will get haters. Haters comment on your blog posts…Great google loves comments. They don’t care what they say.
When I started Empowered Tribe with 4 other social media marketers, I was in charge of the video challenge. Our members had the opportunity to join a video challenge where we put out a video a day for 30 days…
It was a challenge for people to get on video because they were scared of being judged, they wanted their hair to be perfect. They analyzed the shit out of what they were going to say. What they found was after the first 3 videos, it became easier and easier. Their videos downright sucked the first week.
Then they got better and better…this one choice they made, in the end made them powerhouse internet marketers…
The 10X Rule
A summary of “The 10X Rule” Chapter 6 Assume Control for Everything …with added personal examples.
Blame… Successful people hate the blame game. It only extends how long you will be a victim. Assuming control will put the ball in your court, allowing you to look for solutions.
Accepting responsibility is not accepting fault. Pointing the finger is a reflection of blame. Responsibility is a reflection of “Now What?! What are we going to do moving forward?”
Victim- instead figure out how to reduce inconveniences. Good things don’t happen to victims, bad things do. and frequently…Just ask them
Four Consistent Factors In The Victim’s Life
- Bad things happen to them
- bad things happen often
- They are always involved
- Someone or something is always to blame
“Grant Rant” — Grant Cardone
Successful people take the opposite stance:
Everything that happens in your life comes as a result of your own responsibility, not merely some outside force. This will prompt you to start looking for ways to move beyond the situation and take control of not having bad things ‘happen’ to you in the future
— Grant Cardone
“crybabies, whiners, and victims just don’t do well at attracting, or creating success.”
— Grant Cardone The 10X Rule
It’s better to make something happen than to allow it to happen to you…good or bad
Accept whatever happens in your life, good & bad. Taking the stance that things are caused by you…assume control over everything. Even those things that you appear to have no control over. Take control so you can do something about it…
As a helicopter pilot, I’m always looking out for the worst case scenario, so I can meet an emergency when it comes. I’m always looking for a place to land in the event I have to take an emergency landing.
I’ve hit at least 4 birds in my flying career. The last time I saw exactly where it hit. It was a small bird, and it hit the metal smack dab in the middle between the two glass sections. Nothing broke, but if a bird broke through the glass, I would know exactly what to do.
My first flight instructor sent me a story of a 6 foot turkey vulture that went through the window of a bell 206 helicopter and hit the military flight instructor smack in the face. The two student pilots only had about 10 hours of flight time.
The turkey vulture knocked out the flight instructor. He leaned forward on the cyclic (steering wheel), and rolled off the throttle. Did the student pilots claim Victim? Absolutely not. Their lives were at stake. The pilot in the back, unbuckled and pulled the instructor pilot out off the cyclic. The other pilot in the student seat, rolled the throttle back on and landed the helicopter.
I can’t tell you how hard that is with only 10 hours, but I don’t think I would have been able to do it. You get the point. A turkey vulture lost it’s life that day, but the 3 pilots survived. They were not victims…They took responsibility for their circumstance which ultimately allowed them to walk away.
There have been 100’s of times in my flying career where I’ve had to make a decision not to go for weather. There have been times where I’ve had to make a tough decision to land because of weather despite the inconvenience.
And there have been times where I’ve had to take responsibility for my circumstance because I flew into weather that I maybe shouldn’t have. If I chose to be a victim here, it could have dire consequences.
Are you being a control freak by taking responsibility for everything? No. When you take responsibility you will more than likely come up with a solution to meet and exceed past problems.
When life keeps smacking you around it’s time to consider that you have something to do with what is happening or it wouldn’t involve you.
Success is not something that happens to you, it happens because of you. If that is true, the opposite must be true too. Bad things do happen to good people. I’ve lost a few very close friends and loved ones within months of finding out they have Cancer.
If you want it all, then of course you have to assume responsibility for everything.
Agree? Disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts. Comment below and I will be sure to reply.